“TRADE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR APPRECIATION AND YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.”
We were lucky enough (me for the 2nd time) to spend an afternoon at a Tony Robbins seminar last week. Here were some of the highlights and teachings Tony went over. I think everyone should at least one time see or listen to a Tony Robbins event or speech to further reinforce ways to achieve and be fulfilled.
Tony stressed that since we only had 4 hours together, there was only a limited amount that we could do together. But overall, most people come to his seminars because they want to either ACHIEVE goals in their life, or to be FULFILLED or find happiness.
“WHAT WE FOCUS ON, WE FEEL”
- FOCUS = FEELING = MEANING = EMOTION = LIFE
- You can CHOOSE to focus on different things (goals, material things, jobs), and where your focus goes your energy flows (spending your time, emotions, mental energy on the things you focus on). Do you need to change what you’re FOCUSING your mental energy on?
- “DO YOU FOCUS MORE ON WHAT YOU HAVE, OR ON WHAT’S MISSING?” – If you’re focusing on what’s missing, then you will be less satisfied with what you have.
2 FACTORS INFLUENCE PEOPLE – YOUR STATE (short term – are you depressed, happy, energized) AND YOUR BLUEPRINT (Long term planning).
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR SHORT TERM STATE IN AN INSTANT.
This is a major theme of a Tony Robbins event. If I told you to jump up and scream, you could do it INSTANTLY – this PHYSIOLOGICALLY changes your body, heart beat, brain etc. You can make a CHOICE to do this in an instant. You CHOOSE how to approach people (excited high energy vs. sullen low energy). The ENERGY that you bring towards other people, changes THEIR ENERGY and will change your interaction and possibly your relationship with them. HIGH ENERGY will energize others and create more positive emotions (AGAIN EMOTIONS = LIFE).
WHAT DOES AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE LOOK LIKE TO YOU? HOW DO YOU GET THERE? WHAT’S GOTTEN IN THE WAY AND HOW CAN YOU CHANGE IT? Personal questions to evaluate.
2 MASTER SKILLS OF LIFE:
- THE SCIENCE OF ACHIEVEMENT – People come to events to figure out HOW to achieve their goals. This is more of a “science” because it can somewhat be taught.
- A. FOCUS – you have to focus on the right goals for YOU. (WHERE FOCUS GOES YOUR ENERGY WILL FLOW). You have to have the POWER OF CLARITY which is POWER AND COMMITMENT (Are you committed and prioritizing your goals? Are you letting things get in the way of that commitment?)
- B. MASSIVE ACTION IS REQUIRED and is the cure all along with EFFECTIVE EXECUTION. If your actions don’t work, try something else. If that doesn’t work, try something else. You have to DO and then adapt and adjust. You will eventually find what works and what doesn’t. In order to short cut this process, you can MODEL SOMEONE ELSE – find a mentor or read books about people who achieved what you wanted and incorporate that into how you model your plan and actions.
- C. You need GRACE (or luck). Most successful people (or at least the clear thinking ones) will ascribe at least SOME or sometimes A LOT of their success to luck, or grace, or God. Whatever that unknown, unpredictable, X factor is (right place at right time, met the right person, right industry at the right time, etc), that is found through grace or luck.
2. THE ART OF FULFILLMENT – Many people achieve goals but then ask, “What now? Is that all there is?” They are good at ACHIEVING but not necessarily good at being FULFILLED or genuinely happy. Fulfillment is an ART because there’s not necessarily a formula you can give to people. It’s different for EVERYONE. Some people are fulfilled by jumping out of planes, others by painting a picture. You have to experience life and figure that out for yourself. However, there are 3 methods that help.
- A. GROWTH – Find a way to grow/learn on a regular basis. Are you getting BETTER at the things that make you happy?
- B. GIVE – Find ways to give to others or causes that are greater than yourself. By giving to others, you get out of your own head and stop worrying only about yourself and what you don’t have.
- C. Live in a BEAUTIFUL STATE – Are you bringing energy, happiness, playfulness to the table for other people? Or are you bringing others down or living with negative energy? ENERGY FEEDS OFF EACH OTHER. Positive energy will bring more positive energy from people and negative energy will foster more negativity in relationships.
WAYS TO LIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL STATE
- First make the DECISION that you want to. Check yourself and ask if you’re living up to this.
- Write a letter or let someone know that you respect what they mean to you. Check in with old friends.
- Losers REACT. Leaders ANTICIPATE. Are you being reactionary to events and letting negative energy build from it?
- Identify your “favorite flavor of suffering” i.e. getting cold to others, giving the silent treatment, feeling depressed etc. Once you identify those in yourself, recognize when you’re getting into that state and CHANGE your state, focus, and energy level. Find out what TRIGGERS those states of suffering and MAKE CHANGES.
- You can CHANGE YOUR STATE to react differently i.e. when you get bad news, maybe crack a playful joke first – this disarms you and the person and then you can attack a problem differently.
- 90 second rule – take SUFFERING to APPRECIATION – take some deep breaths and remember things to APPRECIATE.
3 THINGS THAT CAUSE SUFFERING
- LOSS – losing money, relationships etc.
- LESS – focusing on why you have less of something than someone else
- NEVER – worrying that you will never get what you want, or never feel a certain way.
The way to deal with these is:
TRADE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR APPRECIATION and your life will change. Don’t focus on what you DON’T have or how something didn’t meet what you expected, and appreciate what DID happen or what you can learn from that adversity. Re-focus on the things that you have to APPRECIATE about your life.